Decisions, Decisions

Which way to go? Making the "right" decision is not always easy. Sometimes it is. When tempted to steal a candy bar from a convenience store, the correct decision is obvious, even if the temptation is appealing. Some would nuance even that simple decision with questions regarding the circumstances. "Situation Ethics" would ask something like: Are you stealing this because your family is hungry? (I say "No" - for a variety of reasons)

Some decisions are not so easy. What I wear on a Sunday morning has always been a source of agony for me. Dumb, I know. Recently I have been making that decision on Saturday evening. Decisions whose ramifications are significant bear down on us and make them more difficult. Sometimes, we become so overwhelmed by anxiety produced by seeking to "do the right thing" that we are incapable of making a decision. Sometimes, it is the paralysis of analysis. Other times we are afraid of making a choice, not because it may be right or wrong, but we fear we are not choosing what will be the best for us. If we choose "A" we may be missing out on "B". And, for the Christian, there is that mysterious thing we call "the will of God". Christians sometimes tie themselves into knots because of a fear that a decision will result in them "missing the will of God".

Lately, I have been in turmoil over a decision. What to do??? One of the best things I have found is to try and get some perspective. Talk to someone who is wise and as unbiased as can be about the decision. Talk to someone who will not tell you what you want to hear. This is in addition to prayer, searching the scripture, and waiting. And, having gathered the best information you can, having prayed and ask for the Lord's help, having asked input from wise friends, make the decision.

Now, to take my own advice . . . .

To Beard or Not To Beard

I have never really had a beard. I have been scruffy, but never the full blown beard. It is fun, because I hate shaving. So, maybe it is sinful because I am giving in to sloth. My family is encouraging me to keep it. Perhaps for a while.

During my recent sabbatical, I took some time to visit other churches. It is always an interesting experience. And, I purposefully chose churches different from the one I pastor. They were different in theology and different in worship styles. One was a mega-church, one was the size of the church I pastor, and one was smaller. One was very liturgical, one was charismatic, and one was reformed. (I hate labels)

As a visitor on the "other side" of the pulpit, I found myself wanting two different things at the same time. On one hand, I was hoping that people who regularly attended those churches would be welcoming of someone from the outside. On the other hand, I hoped to fly under the radar - to maintain a bit of anonymity. It is asking a bit of a church to have it both ways. Two of the churches did a "meet and greet" during the service. I am a bit ambivalent toward such actions. It does help you meet people around you but it is forced. One church recognized guests during the service. That was awkward and was really the last thing I wanted. Of course, my visit to these churches was quite different from someone searching for a church to attend. Only one of the three churches had people in place whose job (read ministry since it occurred in church) it was to greet people like me. And, they did their job well.

As a pastor, it is very difficult to go to other churches and worship without constantly evaluating all that is taking place. It was wonderful to see people worshiping in a variety of ways. In all three churches the scripture was read. In all three statements were made that indicated they believed Jesus was "the way, the truth, and the life". I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the liturgy of the "high church". There was no attempt there to mask the gospel, to necessarily go out of the way to make you feel like you were any where else but church. Sometimes, I think we try too hard to mask our identity for the sake of being seeker friendly.

Don't tell your pastor, but every now and then you should visit other churches. If for no other reason than to appreciate what you have in your home church.

Returning

This is a picture of a sunset from Navarre Beach, Florida. I made it the last evening of our vacation. Pictures capture memories, or at least they try. The three weeks of sabbatical and one week of vacation are now memories. What did I learn? I kept a sabbatical diary of sorts and want to share portions from my daily diary. They are random and may be a bit confusing. If you don't read any more of this post, please read this - I was very thankful to disengage for a while - but I am also very thankful to be back.

* Home by 3:00 P.M. following a funeral. Fried fresh catfish - yum.

* Morning motorcycle ride with two men from the church. Afternoon in my temporary office. What do I want to accomplish? I don't want to waste the time, it is a sacred trust. But, I don't want the crushing feeling of having to squeeze something from every minute either. Balance!

*Finished the book "When People Are Big and God Is Small". Reading through the Bible.

*Visited church in Bloomington. Only one person spoke to me.

*Finding out the church gets along fine without me. None of us are indispensable.

*Started book "How People Change". Storm broke out, power went out. Hardest thing is prayer - isn't that terrible?!?

*Read 1st and 2nd Kings today. So much death, disobedience, and destruction. It takes time to get used to being off and then, when I do get use to it, it is time to go back. Unharnessing is hard, perhaps getting back in the saddle is harder.

*Went to an Episcopalian Church today. Much different than I am use to - but - I appreciated it. The chapel was very God oriented. The worship service was as well, but, I can see where it can become very rote.

*Praise God for friends!

*Lessons from the sabbatical:

1. Professionalism is dangerous to the pastorate. It is possible to move from being a pastor to being a professional, a suptle but deadly way of viewing ministry.

2. Disengaging from the daily responsibility of pastoring is good, but harder than I thought.

3. Personal discipline is a key to spiritual growth. Rest is part of personal discipline.

4. Cynism is an enemy to ministry.

5. The Holy Spirit works in ways we sometimes dismiss at worst, overlook at best.

6. Spiritual health can be faked but not before God.

7. I pastor a wonderful church and am humbled.

8. The Bible is food and water for all of life.

9. Time flies.

10. My family is a precious gift.

Thanks to the church for giving me the time away and thanks to everyone who filled whatever holes my absence created.
Paul

Sabbatical

The Elders approached me about taking some time off. Some have misunderstood that to mean that the Elders wanted me to go look for a job some where else. If they were thinking that, they never said it to me! This has been a long time in coming, almost two years. We talked, we thought, we prayed, we re-thought, we post-poned, we talked. Getting things done by committee is not always the most efficient way of accomplishing something. We finally came up with the plan presented to you via the e-mail letter. And, there are no plans for searching for a new church or the church searching for a new pastor, at least no plans I know about. I do have every confidence that the staff at GCBC is much more than adequate to do the work of ministry here. We are so blessed and for them I am most grateful.

My intent is to keep you posted via this blog. And, except for the week of vacation, I don't plan to be far from Ford County. I do plan one small motorcycle trip with my dear brother Kent Klotz who lives in Indiana. I want to pray, read the bible in its entirety, read some books on Christian counseling, and think about how to be more effective in ministry. And, I have a couple of book ideas that I want to drag out of the back closet of my mind and toy with. Three weeks is not long.

Please pray for me and for the church. My biggest fear is to waste this glorious opportunity. That is not my intent.

Old and New

Old and New, or, as we like to say in church parlance - Traditional and Contemporary. I really don't like either label because both carry baggage. The above picture was taken at the Peoria Air Show on Saturday, July 11, 2009. Someone had some tickets and could not attend. My two sons and I could attend. It was exciting. And, it was cool to see an F-16 and a P-51 flying in formation. Both highly respected, both awesome to see in flight.

A lesson to be learned in church. Old is not bad and neither is new. Old does not mean musty and out of touch. The Bible is, in one sense, very old. But, to read it, you would think much of it was written yesterday. And, just because something is new does not mean it must be suspect. God does things in His own way and it is not always the same way. The greater prejudice today is probably against the old. There is a certain arrogance we have now believing that everything then was worse. Not so. But, those who cling to the old can also become entrenched and think anything new is subversive. We need both. And, since we do need both, that is why I have a philosophical problem with having a contemporary worship service and a traditional worship service. That smacks of being divisive and threatens the thought that both the new and the old can be of the Lord. Can we not lay aside our personal preferences for a bit?

I love the P-51. The sound is awesome and so is the sight. But, the F-16 is not shabby. Both can occupy an airshow. Old and New right beside one another.

Unexpected Blessings

Through a series of apparently mundane events, I ended up spending some up close and personal time with a World War 2 warbird - a F6F Hellcat - a rare bird indeed. Very, very few are flying these days. They were the scourge of the Japanese in the battle for the Pacific. And, one dropped into the neighborhood - Rantoul - and a dear friend and brother (Eric Johnson) knew someone who knew someone and knew me. Together we all got to spend some time drooling on and in the plane. For me, it was a rare opporutnity to have a very tactile experience with a piece of machinery that I find exhilerating - representing a time that I find amazing. For others, not so much. But, it came "out of the blue". And, blessings often do just that - arrive unexpected, unanticipated, unplanned. I just want to be sure that my radar is on and I am grateful when they do and seek to be grateful when they don't. Perhaps some would argue that the God of the universe could care not one bit whether or not I sat in the cockpit of a Navy plane responsible for helping win WW2. I completely understand the thought and don't want to attribute to God more than He has promised. But, be it a note from a long lost friend, a $5.00 bill at the bottom of a sock drawyer, a rain shower at just the right time - all are gifts of His grace. And, I want to thank Him for them.